I have been working really hard to get my Personal Progress done. When I was in Young Women as a youth I got my medallion. Now, as a leader, I am working on getting the new one. It has been really fun. This is one of the projects I have done. I spent about twenty hours cross stitching the Young Women's Theme. About a week after I finished it, the Young Women General Presidency added a new value, Virtue. I love that they have added Virtue, I think it is very important. I just had to RE DO the whole stinkin' thing!! I wanted to scream. I set to work again and actually finished in about ten hours. I then went and got it framed. It felt to great to hold in my hands! It is going to get hung in the Young Women's room. Fun!

BALLS!

These are my darling babies, back in March. Kimball's Occupational Therapist suggested we get a few "supplies" to have at the house. The first on I got was balls! Kimball loves these plastic balls! We filled up my bathtub with them and the kids went to town. It was so great to see them have so much fun. We have used them for lots of different things: counting, patterns, addition, subtractions, we have played that they are cannon balls, snowballs, and bombs. They are a great investment and a pain to pick up!

Knee report

I thought it might be time to tell you about the surgery and how I am doing. First of all, I feel great! I can’t believe how little pain I am in!! My knee is swollen and sore, but I can get up and walk with crutches. I even made some spaghetti for dinner. It felt great to be doing something! My mom is so wonderful at making sure I am not over doing my self. She is always after me to go sit down or stop doing something. I am very thankful she is here.
The doctor greeted me with great news after my surgery. I did NOT have a torn menisci’s. I had something called a plica band. This is something in my knee that did not get re-absorbed when I was a three or four month of FETUS! With my injury of falling down the stairs and then Kimball jumping on it, it was inflamed. The doctor just had to go in and removed this stuff. He said that it was make a much easier recovery! I liked that part.
How fascinating that something from when I was growing in my mother as come back to haunt me! There is a high chance that I have it in my right knee, but if I don’t sustain any injury it may never bother me. On the other had, if I some crazy little thing I may have to have surgery on that knee. Here is to not having to have surgery! I have had enough in my life.
So, nothing huge or big to report, just some strange tissue inflamed in my knee. My mom looked at me with a smile and said, “I always knew you were a freak!” I love you too mom!
The kids are doing really well with me. At first Warren wanted nothing to do with me. I think he was a little nervous about the huge bandage around my knee. He did however want my crutches. He has run of with them a couple of times. Or, my personal favorite, he tries to pull them out from me. I think he has it in for my other knee!
Kimball is so careful around me. It is so neat to see how gentle he can be, when he tires. When I ever I tell him my knee is hurting he says to everyone to be quite and then he will say a prayer so my knee wont hurt and that it will hurry up and get better “so mommy can jump on the trampoline with me.” He has such a big heart. Phoebe has become my little nurse. She will come up to me and stroke my face and give me kisses. She will tuck me in and get me anything I want. She loves when I ask for her help. She comes running with a huge smile on her face. She is such a wonderful helper.
Mom is amazing with the kids. She has the patience of Job. She bought the kids some Ghost Shrimp to put in the fish tank. They played out side for hours. When they found an earth worm she would help them put it in the fish tank. She has read to them, played games with them and has had barley any sleep. What a great mother I have.
I still miss Jake, but he was able to be with his sister as she got married today. I am so happy for Cherise! I know she has made a good choice picking Karl. I look forward to going to Idaho next week for the open house.
Okay, me and my plica-lis knee are going to take a well needed nap.

Oh my!

Last night I had the most embarrassing side effect of surgery I have ever had! I just don’t know how to put into words. I blush as I think about it. Children, cover your ears. Last night, I had flatulence. I had flatulence of the knee! Oh, I feel so much better now that I got that off my chest.
As I was getting into bed, last night, had to carefully and slowly prop my knee up on pillows. In the process my knee let out a little “poot”. I stopped and immediately looked around, in case anyone had heard that. I would want to say “excuse me”. Then, I stopped and realized that came from my knee! Did anyone else hear that?! Just to make sure, I did the same movement again and got the same result. Being the 13 year old that I am deep inside, I did it again and I giggled. It was funny. It might have something to do with the pain killer that I was on, but I did it again, and giggled even louder.
This is a new one to write in the books. I don’t think many people can claim the privilege of flatulence of the knee. No, I guess that is only reserved for special people.

Home

I am home.
I am sore.
I miss my husband.
I am doing well.
More tomorrow.

Insomnia

Tonight I find myself for the third time having pre-surgery jitters. The first night this happened to me was many years ago. I was about three weeks away from turning 10. It was a few days before Christmas. I was going to have my tonsils and adenoids removed. They were going to use a fancy new “laser” on me. I had never had surgery of any kind and I was down right scared! I don’t know now long I stayed up, but I do know that I fell asleep at some point. My mother woke me up around five in the morning. She was holding a candle and dressed in warm clothes. The power had gone out in the middle of the night. (Uh, not a good thing, we lived in Alaska!) I was exhausted but sprung out of bed. The adrenal was at the highest level I think I had ever felt. I don’t remember much about getting ready to go, expect I had to pee in a bucket. I hate power outages. The people at the clinic were so nice. The nurse that took me way from my mother and little sister had elf shoes on. She kept me comfortable by talking about what I wanted to get for Christmas. Before long I was laying on a table with huge lights. The doctor put a mask over my nose and mouth that smelled of cinnamon. (To this day every time I smell cinnamon I think of that moment) Before I knew it I was wake with a horrible sore throat and my mom and sister were right beside me. My little sister, Phoebe, was almost five years old. She thought is would be a great idea to tickle my feet. She wanted to see me smile. I wanted to kick her face. I vowed that one day I would get her back for that. It did happen, many years later. I was 18 and she was 13. It was a beautiful moment!
I survived that surgery just fine. Fast forward to three years ago, it was again, a few weeks before my birthday. This time I was turning 25 and it wasn’t my tonsils I was loosing, but my uterus. It had taken me weeks to come to this decision. It was a very emotional one. The night before I went to the hospital I couldn’t sleep. I thought of everything. I thought of each one of my pregnancies. I though of the deliveries and of holding my tiny, new babies. I though of the beautiful connection you have with God while you are pregnant. It is something you only feel while you are caring a child. I thought of how I would miss all those things. I felt a huge loss. I had no clue how deep of a loss it would be. I was so upset I threw up most of the night. When I did fall asleep I was clinging to my husband. He was my biggest support. I could not have gotten through it with out him. I knew his head was full of similar thoughts. When I did wake up that morning, that same adrenalin pumped through my body that I felt year’s earlier. On top of thinking all about my life without a uterus, I had to run around and make sure all the last minute details were taken care of.Now we are here, the night before my knee surgery. I know I should be feeling okay; I have had a hysterectomy, what is simple knee surgery to that? But, I find myself not able to sleep. I am thinking about my husband. He is not here tonight. He is away on business. I miss him. I wish he were here so I could cling to him again. My mom is sleeping in the back room. She has her back already and clothes laid out. Smart woman. I am wake with thoughts of what is it going to be like to have my knee a “completely blood free zone” or that they are going to fill my knee with a liter of water. I am thinking of how you feel right after you wake up from the sleeping drug. I hate it. I feel almost like I am going to have a panic attack. I know it is normal. It is due to your mind and body waking up at different times. I don’t look forward that. I never do. I am looking forward to not having this pain all the time. I am looking forward to being able to jump on the trampoline with my kids and go on a walk with my husband. I want to do yard work and go to the gym. When I go to California next month I want to be able to hike and play in the Redwoods with out having to have a knee brace or pain killers. I am trying to think of these things and not the pain that is going to be with me when I wake up. Or that I will have to say in bed for a day or so. Am I just sounding like a baby? I still wish Jake was here. He comes home on Sunday. I am dreaming of him walking in the door and kneeling by my bed and kissing me. I will then be able to sleep the peaceful sleep of having my husband next to me. The clock on the computer is telling me that it is three in the morning. I am going to be up in a couple of hours with that all to familiar adrenalin. Wish me luck!

Code Adam

When a baby is taken from hospital it is a “code pink” when you loose a child in a store it is called a “code Adam”. I have never actually had to claim I have lost my child. I have never had to have every employee on the look out for a little blonde boy. I have never acted like the frantic mother because she can’t find baby. I have never had those strange looks from people, like, “why can’t she keep her children near by” or “what a horrible mother” I have never had horrible thoughts that I may never see my child again. Until today! Oh, yes, I had that *wonderful* experience! I took the kids to Ikea today. I thought it would be great way to spend the day. I let them sit on all the furniture and touch everything they could get there hands on. It was like a trip to Disneyland, with affordable food. While were in the couch area I was doing my regular kid count. Have Phoebe, check, have Kimball, check, have Warren… wait! Where is Warren? So I calmly look around and call his name. I still can’t find him. I have a bit of panic hit me. So I looked a little more. I still couldn’t find him! Now I started to worry. Warren is not my child that runs away from me. I started to get frantic. I started yelling out his name and telling me that he need to answer, because he is scaring me. An employee came over and asked if I had lost a child. I said yes, and she got her walkie talkie out and called a code Adam. All the employees had to start to look for my blonde haired two year old boy. After a few minutes the told me that they found a little boy! I was so relieved, only to find out it was some other person’s boy! I am about ready to have a heart attack. Finally, after about five minutes of the employees looking for my child, here comes Warren, running around the corner saying, “I looking you mommy, I looking you mommy!” I seriously had thoughts of yelling at him. But, don’t worry I didn’t. I wrapped my arms around him and covered him with kisses! What a relief! I think I aged about ten years while trying to find him. He as happy as could be and didn’t think anything was wrong. Just another fun day at Ikea! I eventually let him out of my arms and put him straight in a basket and seat belted him in. He didn’t want to stay there but after what he put me through, he didn’t get a choice! I am so glad he is safe and home, with me. May this never happen again!